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Therefore, the myth that the Sub is actually being abused and in danger of being hurt is not true at all in a true D/S relationship because the Submissive has all the power to stop a ‘scene' by using the code word.
The draw for people involved in the BDSM scene is multi-layered and varied but coincide with the desire to experience a non-Vanilla type of sensual, sexual erotic experience that occurs outside of the normal rational mind.
A modern interpretation of this novel entitled Venus in Fur by David Ives is being performed currently on Broadway in fact which illustrates the longevity of the erotic power the D/S dynamic.
The subject of this book should not be viewed through a socio-political lens since it lies in a realm that is beyond in a psychological, emotional and sensual world.
I dearly hope there are no offspring for your life style to damage.
It makes me truly sorry to read comments such as yours, to think that there are people like you who are stuck in closeminded ingnorance.
People who participate in BDSM come from a variety of ethnicities, sexual orientations, ages and social classes The Dom is in a position of power and authority and the Sub is in a position of helplessness and vulnerability in many capacities.
These relationships are consensual and the submissive has code words to let the Dom know if he/she has had enough.
If the standard of "this is who I am" is to be absolute.. that is just "who they are" That you are endeavoring to form a dependent personality is not only something to not be proud of but to be abhorred.
It is an adult form of play that many people would rather just keep in their fantasies.
Therefore, just because the book has become a hit in the suburbs, does not mean that all these female readers want to enact these roles.
One of my clients who was involved in this type of relationship acted as a Dom and her male partner was not allowed to touch her in any way except perhaps to stroke her boots as she set up restrictions for him.
In the press recently, it has been suggested that the book is reflecting a change in society somehow and that because women have broken the ‘glass ceiling' in their careers they are more likely longing for a place in which they can relinquish control.
I would argue that these types of relationships have been around a long time and that the gender of the Dom and sub has been inhabited by both sexes.